So I havent posted in positively forever! but I came back, mainly because Britney_insanity_16 offered to be my friend (hello!) and I felt the need to blog, though I don't have much to say. I got my licsense a few days ago, yay! but my parents are being brats and not letting me drive on the highway. Eventually, they keep saying. I'm just kind of bored, being a loser on a saturday night. I did go to bread co earlier. yay. but thats it.

I'm getting SO FED UP with the guys at my school. and everyone else. Seriously, why don't I have a boyfriend? am I really that revolting? Its been getting on my last nerve. This girl at my school, who is, ahem, disgusting, just got a boyfriend. That was the last straw. I've been particularly concerned with my status lately because I've been so horny. Seriously, hormones, could you pick a better time please? My mind keeps drifting to very dirty places right in the middle of class. ugh. redtube.com can only help so much, lol!

So I am very bored. I will prob put up pics later, just for kicks.

chloe. 

   So I hung out with a few friends today. We kept talking about one of our sort-of friends, who we used to be close with but she is changing all of a sudden. My friend, lets call her R, said, "Yeah, she is pretty wierd. I could totaly see her being a creepy expirimental bisexual or something..." and I was like "haha, yeah....". It just made me realize how difficult it would be for me to come out, since my friends and family are so obviously unaccepting. They don't frown upon it or anything like that, they all just think it's wierd and gross.

I'm not quite in the blogging mood today, maybe more later.

:]

edit*

its later. here are some things that people should know about me:

1. as far as my physical appearance goes here it is: I'm short, barely five foot one. I'd rather not say my weight, as I'm ashamed of it. I will say, however, that my boobs are big. obnoxiously big. I'm not trying to sound sexy here, I'm just stating the truth. they are quite ridiculous, being so short, and when I walk down the street I am often mistaken for a pair of walking boobs. I have black hair that is thick and I am proud of. My face is alright I guess. I have brown eyes that could be called big if my head weren't so big. My nose is slightly down turned, echoing my roots as an aluetian indian. My mouth is depressivly small. personally, I find full lush lips the pinnacle of beauty, and am forever searching for a magical lip plumping product.

2. I have clinical depression. When i was about nine, I was diagnosed. Went to therapy for a few years, then it went away. It came back recently, at the beggining of last school year. It got pretty bad before I went back to therapy, and I began cutting myself while listening to hate music. I barely slept, I was withdrawn, I was a shadow of myself (says my mom). Now I'm in therapy, on prozac, and completly better. Here are the only people who know about my depression: My parents, my sister, my best friend d, and my league of doctors. If I told anyone else, they probably wouldnt even believe me.

3. I'm extremely close to my sister. She is three years older, and i love her more than anything. We are nearly the same person, and she is my absolute best friend. Other people with siblings think its strange how close we are, but we find it natural. When I find a lover one day, i want them to be just like her. She is the only one who knows that was cutting. not my parents, not my therapists. She doesnt know that i havent told my therapists though. If it wasnt for her, I wouldnt have gone back to therapy. She saw my cuts, and knew what it was, and told me i needed help.

4. I dont really believe in God. I respect people who do have faith in someone, but I cant make myself believe in God, heaven, or hell.  I am raised catholic and go to catholic schools, which may have something to do with my outlook now. Having some thing shoved down your throat all your life has the exact opposite affect than intended. I dont want to argue or debate with anyone on the god issue, so save it please.

I will think of more laters.